My experience with my blog has been pretty much hate-hate. I have a very difficult time putting my reflections out there for others to see. Is what I’m writing good enough? Have I achieved a proper tone? Is it too sterile, hiding my personality too much? If I disagree with the ‘experts’, will that affect my grade?
If I am to benefit from this type of activity, I think it needs to have the sanctity of a journal under lock and key. I have journaled in the past and even though I have kept them decades later (it is not something I’ve done recently), I don’t expect that I’ll ever allow anyone to read them; in fact, in the past I have considered at what age I should consider destroying them – keeping them long enough to enjoy the reminiscences throughout my life, but not long enough to embarrass my children after I die, or at least not to embarrass me.
Maybe it’s because I’m not a natural performer. I’d rather work behind the scenes to be sure things come out right, rather than be the one with the spotlight on her along with everyone’s eyes. This follows with my inexplicable inability to breathe every time I get up to the lectern to read at church. I can read, I can speak, I can read aloud to my children; put me in front of 100 people I know who mean me no harm and won’t judge me and I start to panic and can’t breathe. If I stumble over one word I can feel myself sweat, even with the air conditioner set low.
I just know that I hope a blog isn’t a requirement in each of the rest of my OMDE courses.